Hey all,
So, I guess by now you would've guessed, from the title, that I don't have much to say. Oh the joys of writers block...
So I have had a few attempts to start this book that I have aspired to since the age of twelve, none of which have any success of any note. I have a reputation in my family of having a way with words. I can write just about anything, I've written songs, poems, short stories, minor novels, obituaries and whatever else you can possibly think of. But no matter what I've written.. I just can't seem to get something written that would classify as a book, at least not one that someone else actually likes.
So after many failed attempts... stories that have great starts but nowhere to take the story, stories that would (apparently) only ever be found in those seedy little book stores that sell the types of books that should have a rating of M or higher, or stories that are so boring to me that I don't bother to take them anywhere... I have taken to carrying a notepad with me to write down the tidbits I gain from my powers of observation. Or if I don't have my notepad, my phone is quickly whipped out of my pocket and I use my phone's office app to type what I'm thinking in Word.
Now, so far this seems to be working pretty well, but throughout this experience, I'm beginning to realise why so many writers are on goverment payments. Its not exactly easy to be a serious writer when its only a part-time pursuit. Once you put down your project and go off to do something else, you've lost your train of thought, and its almost impossible to keep the story going, unless of course you make a habit of having writing materials with you twenty-four seven.
So here is the cause of my dilemma, I know writing is not a stable career that generates a constant income, but its something that I've always taken very very seriously. Most of the time, this was a source of much conflict with members of my family, especially my parents. They didn't seem to think that I should aspire to such volatile career goals, even if I did have a certain amount of talent or enjoyment in experiencing it.
I do believe that I could make a go of being an author/writer, but there is one small thing, or perhaps a rather big thing, holding me back. I'm too much of a free spirit. Now, this may not seem like it's a problem, but to really make a career out of writing, you have to be willing to pick up the little bits and pieces, whether it be newspaper articles or some sort of journalistic pursuits. But I have never been able to do this, I don't believe in having my writing abilities restrained to the guidelines of other people, and it's a well known fact that that is the sort of writing expected from companies who will pay you for writing that isn't a novel.
I like to let it flow, quite often I'll close my eyes and let the words in my head connect with the fingers on my keyboard (this sometimes being where those seedy little bookshop novels come from) What can I say? I think writing tends to turn out bigger and better that way. It makes it easier for readers to connect to on an emotional level. I tend to believe, that directing your stories at a particular audience means connecting and writing about the things they experience in everyday life. That small bit of reality in creativity, can sometimes mean the difference between success and failure with a particular audience. I think some examples of this would include two of my favourite drama novels: Deenie by Judy Blume and Looking For Alibrandi or Saving Francesca or On The Jellicoe Road all written by Melina Marchetta.
But then you have your Harry Potters and Twilights, which have no element of reality within their stories. But I love these books too. My personal reasons for loving these books is pretty simple: they came out during my teenage years, which were full of turmoil, my battles with depression and my past quite often being the norm. I liked the escape from reality that thy gave me, when I felt as though all I needed was a break. They were a much needed 'therapy' I guess you could say. And I love those books for that. I find it fitting that the last movies for both of those series'of books are coming out now, closing the era of these books, as I begin my adult life and my teenage turmoil becomes a thing of the past.
But it was back when I felt I needed help or a dose of confidence and strength, or when I feel that way now, that I reach for my favourite, reality based novels. As those books have lessons or attitudes throughout them that allow me to get my much needed confidence boost and give me back my zest for life and my desire to acheive and accomplish. I sometimes think I wouldn't make it through life without them.
So, even writing this long and probably boring blog has helped me to gain some understanding of what sort of novel my book should turn out to be. I almost feel as if maybe, I might be able to get something out now, something that brings the best of both of my worlds. The adult world, that more often than not brings with it the cold hard dose of reality and my teenage world, the need to escape, the need to just express myself and develop my inner imagination. I know that books have been a huge part of my life, even if my reading tastes have become slightly superficial these days (my current read is Kardashian Konfidential, the autobiography written and put together by the three most famous Kardashians: Kourtney, Kim and Khloe) I think they still are important and probably always will be.
Having parents who weren't big communicators, but people who were big on intellect and talent, I've learnt most of what I know comes from the broad variety of books that I read. I'm a kid who was reading Lord Of The Rings and authors like James Courtney and Charlotte Bronte, when I really should have still been stuck in books like The Babysitters Club and Goosebumps. But that's always been who I am. I'm still told to this day that I'm someone 30 years my senior most of the time. But I always say, and I'm gonna say it again.
NEVER underestimate the power of literature.
It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it. ~Oscar Wilde
See you next time!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
A New Perspective
Hi all,
So its been seven months since my last blog, and I'm finding it amazing just how much has changed in that time. Six months and 13 days ago I met an amazing person, my fiance John. Now this relationship was met with a lot of criticism when it first began, but I am a firm believer of following my heart. Which is something that I chose to do in this situation. And I'll tell you what, I'll never look back.
When my last relationship ended, I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders and I have done things, with the support of John, that I never thought I would. I'm now going after my goals in a way that I have never had the motivation to do before. I do believe I owe this new found ambition to the life I have with John, because my happiness makes me feel as though I have no pressure to succeed.
Now do not get me wrong, success is great, but it feels a lot better when you acheive it under your own steam... in my experience anyway. Its often said that if you surround yourself with the right people, it will direct your life down a positive path.. but I never really believed just how true this could be until John came into my life. Which is why I have now removed any negative influences from my life and kept only the positive ones, which in turn, makes me a positively motivated person.
Really if I'm honest with myself I have no idea if this will make any sense to anyone, as sometimes when I write, I don't give a lot of thought to what I write, quite often I just let my fingers on the keyboard channel my brain and go for their lives, and more often than not, doing that leads me to some of my best work.
On that note, I will leave you with one last thought. If the people in your life play a big part in your life. Who will motivate you to acheive something tomorrow?
'The most important thing to ask on the job is not "what am I getting?" The most important thing to ask is "What am I becoming?"'
Cheers. :)
So its been seven months since my last blog, and I'm finding it amazing just how much has changed in that time. Six months and 13 days ago I met an amazing person, my fiance John. Now this relationship was met with a lot of criticism when it first began, but I am a firm believer of following my heart. Which is something that I chose to do in this situation. And I'll tell you what, I'll never look back.
When my last relationship ended, I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders and I have done things, with the support of John, that I never thought I would. I'm now going after my goals in a way that I have never had the motivation to do before. I do believe I owe this new found ambition to the life I have with John, because my happiness makes me feel as though I have no pressure to succeed.
Now do not get me wrong, success is great, but it feels a lot better when you acheive it under your own steam... in my experience anyway. Its often said that if you surround yourself with the right people, it will direct your life down a positive path.. but I never really believed just how true this could be until John came into my life. Which is why I have now removed any negative influences from my life and kept only the positive ones, which in turn, makes me a positively motivated person.
Really if I'm honest with myself I have no idea if this will make any sense to anyone, as sometimes when I write, I don't give a lot of thought to what I write, quite often I just let my fingers on the keyboard channel my brain and go for their lives, and more often than not, doing that leads me to some of my best work.
On that note, I will leave you with one last thought. If the people in your life play a big part in your life. Who will motivate you to acheive something tomorrow?
'The most important thing to ask on the job is not "what am I getting?" The most important thing to ask is "What am I becoming?"'
Cheers. :)
Monday, October 11, 2010
Cerebral Palsy - The physical disability determining the lives of so many Adults and Children.
Hey all,
Ever since I can remember, I have lived and contended with the physical disability Cerebral Palsy, and I have met, at the very least, six other people with the disability. I've always found it sad however the level of ignorance around such a disability and have also been a first hand recipient of that ignorance my entire life.
There are two hugely common questions I have heard over my lifetime when it comes to CP and I hope to answer both of those right here.
Question 1.
How do we gain an understanding of CP when we don't even know what it is?
Research is always good, try googling Cerebral Palsy and see what comes up. But the simple answer is to say this: Cerebral Palsy is a physical disability caused by damage to the brain, usually due to lack of oxygen to a baby during birth or a head injury soon after birth. It affects the ability for the nerve systems in the body to send signals to the arms and legs, especially involving movement, hence why most CP sufferers use wheelchairs, frames or walking sticks. There are many different ways that CP affects people, it can affect just one side of the body, both arms, both legs or all four limbs. In the more severe cases it also affects speech capabilities.
If you want me to expand on this just ask me....
Question 2
Is there a cure for Cerebral Palsy?
Again there's a simple answer, which is no. But the more complicated answer is this: There is a treatment that can be used from birth to retrain a childs brain circuits to send messages to more accurate places, and whilst this is not a cure, it is an early intervention that can make such a huge difference to a child's future experience of Cerebral Palsy.
Another early intervention is Botox, yes you read right, Botox. The world's most lethal poison has been used in cosmetic surgery to loosen the face muscles to remove wrinkles and so, it has a similar role in the medical world. It is injected into the leg muscles of children with CP to loosen the spasticity in the muscles in order to relax them and make the process of walking more comfortable and slightly easier for the child. I myself was one of the trial subjects for this treatment 16 years ago.
But as for a full and complete cure, we then look to Stem Cell Treatment, a treatment which has not been legalised in Australia yet as our government believes that more research is needed to allow the controversial issue. An adult with CP, such as myself, would have to travel to India in order to receive this treatment at this point in time.
In closing.....
So maybe I have answered those questions, maybe I haven't. But just remember, every 15 hours a child is born with Cerebral Palsy. But CP does not present itself until an affected child reaches 18 months of age, which is why it is so vital to train a child's brain from birth, as by the time CP presents itself it may be too late to retrain the brain and the damage will most likely be done. So please, raise awareness of this oh so common disability and help us out in finding and researching a viable cure.
Go to http://www.cpfoundation.com.au/ and make a donation today!
Peace guys. :)
Ever since I can remember, I have lived and contended with the physical disability Cerebral Palsy, and I have met, at the very least, six other people with the disability. I've always found it sad however the level of ignorance around such a disability and have also been a first hand recipient of that ignorance my entire life.
There are two hugely common questions I have heard over my lifetime when it comes to CP and I hope to answer both of those right here.
Question 1.
How do we gain an understanding of CP when we don't even know what it is?
Research is always good, try googling Cerebral Palsy and see what comes up. But the simple answer is to say this: Cerebral Palsy is a physical disability caused by damage to the brain, usually due to lack of oxygen to a baby during birth or a head injury soon after birth. It affects the ability for the nerve systems in the body to send signals to the arms and legs, especially involving movement, hence why most CP sufferers use wheelchairs, frames or walking sticks. There are many different ways that CP affects people, it can affect just one side of the body, both arms, both legs or all four limbs. In the more severe cases it also affects speech capabilities.
If you want me to expand on this just ask me....
Question 2
Is there a cure for Cerebral Palsy?
Again there's a simple answer, which is no. But the more complicated answer is this: There is a treatment that can be used from birth to retrain a childs brain circuits to send messages to more accurate places, and whilst this is not a cure, it is an early intervention that can make such a huge difference to a child's future experience of Cerebral Palsy.
Another early intervention is Botox, yes you read right, Botox. The world's most lethal poison has been used in cosmetic surgery to loosen the face muscles to remove wrinkles and so, it has a similar role in the medical world. It is injected into the leg muscles of children with CP to loosen the spasticity in the muscles in order to relax them and make the process of walking more comfortable and slightly easier for the child. I myself was one of the trial subjects for this treatment 16 years ago.
But as for a full and complete cure, we then look to Stem Cell Treatment, a treatment which has not been legalised in Australia yet as our government believes that more research is needed to allow the controversial issue. An adult with CP, such as myself, would have to travel to India in order to receive this treatment at this point in time.
In closing.....
So maybe I have answered those questions, maybe I haven't. But just remember, every 15 hours a child is born with Cerebral Palsy. But CP does not present itself until an affected child reaches 18 months of age, which is why it is so vital to train a child's brain from birth, as by the time CP presents itself it may be too late to retrain the brain and the damage will most likely be done. So please, raise awareness of this oh so common disability and help us out in finding and researching a viable cure.
Go to http://www.cpfoundation.com.au/ and make a donation today!
Peace guys. :)
Monday, August 16, 2010
Family Connections
Hey everyone!
When I left you last I issued you with a challenge, to think positive, and endorsed this message with one of my favourite quotes "Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game." So, tell me, how did you go with that? Not always so easy huh?? Yeah I know how you feel, I haven't ever and probably never will be good at thinking positively, but I have learnt and known the benefits of it.
So where does my attitude come from? How can I possibly think positively when there is absolutely nothing in my life that can prove the benefits of that to me? The answer is: My family. I know you're thinking, oh everyone says that, that their families are the reason they are who they are, but for me, it is the absolute truth.
Growing up as a ward of the state and a foster child, my family has come to mean something entirely different to me than the rather conventional view that your family are your biological relatives, and no one else can possibly fulfill that role. Even though, I may have contradicted the opinion I am about to present to you at rough times in my life, there is nothing that will ever manage to change the view of family that has almost become second nature to me.
There was always a lot of holes in my life that my biological mother and father could never quite manage to fill. From the age of 6 months onwards, I spent majority of the time away from my two young parents, and although I know I saw them both quite a lot, it didn't take long for me to form the bond of mother and child with my foster mum and in turn, lose that bond with my own mother. And sadly, unlike my biological father and I with our father-daughter bond, my mother and I never managed to regain that bond.
I have spent my whole life feeling as though I would never quite fit in anywhere and I shouldn't have to say that this caused a lot of bitterness and horrible feelings in my life. If I went to my mother's house, I never felt quite right, and the same with my father's house. I didn't even really feel right living with my foster parents, I was always completely different to the people I spent time around, and I started to feel as though flying solo in life was the best way for me to go.
But it always used to surprise me, and often still does, how willing complete strangers were, to be the people who filled those holes for me, I found myself confiding in people who spent time around me, such as my child care workers or my teachers and I believe I felt more at home, with people who hardly knew me, than I did with my own family. I remember the only place I ever felt like I was part of something was at school. Which is just slightly ironic, given that in my early years of school not many of my peers took the time to get to know me, but those who did are still great friends of mine, as good a friend to me at the age of 20 as they were at the age of 5.
Family to me now are those who will be there for you, will support you through anything and are always there to talk things throw no matter what time of the night or day. They hold you when you cry and come running when you call, they laugh with you, smile with you, fail and succeed with you. They are the people who love you no matter who you are or what you do, and they are the people who will take every step through life with you.
So I say this now, when you feel as though you have no family, think of the people who would do all those things for you and with you, and you have your family right there in front of you without even having to try.
Interesting thought isn't it? Yeah. I thought so too. So who are your family now? Think about it, look around you and see who is still standing there waiting for the moments when you need them. Are they who you thought you were? Remember, smile and the whole world smiles with you.
Bye all!
Kirsten :)
When I left you last I issued you with a challenge, to think positive, and endorsed this message with one of my favourite quotes "Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game." So, tell me, how did you go with that? Not always so easy huh?? Yeah I know how you feel, I haven't ever and probably never will be good at thinking positively, but I have learnt and known the benefits of it.
So where does my attitude come from? How can I possibly think positively when there is absolutely nothing in my life that can prove the benefits of that to me? The answer is: My family. I know you're thinking, oh everyone says that, that their families are the reason they are who they are, but for me, it is the absolute truth.
Growing up as a ward of the state and a foster child, my family has come to mean something entirely different to me than the rather conventional view that your family are your biological relatives, and no one else can possibly fulfill that role. Even though, I may have contradicted the opinion I am about to present to you at rough times in my life, there is nothing that will ever manage to change the view of family that has almost become second nature to me.
There was always a lot of holes in my life that my biological mother and father could never quite manage to fill. From the age of 6 months onwards, I spent majority of the time away from my two young parents, and although I know I saw them both quite a lot, it didn't take long for me to form the bond of mother and child with my foster mum and in turn, lose that bond with my own mother. And sadly, unlike my biological father and I with our father-daughter bond, my mother and I never managed to regain that bond.
I have spent my whole life feeling as though I would never quite fit in anywhere and I shouldn't have to say that this caused a lot of bitterness and horrible feelings in my life. If I went to my mother's house, I never felt quite right, and the same with my father's house. I didn't even really feel right living with my foster parents, I was always completely different to the people I spent time around, and I started to feel as though flying solo in life was the best way for me to go.
But it always used to surprise me, and often still does, how willing complete strangers were, to be the people who filled those holes for me, I found myself confiding in people who spent time around me, such as my child care workers or my teachers and I believe I felt more at home, with people who hardly knew me, than I did with my own family. I remember the only place I ever felt like I was part of something was at school. Which is just slightly ironic, given that in my early years of school not many of my peers took the time to get to know me, but those who did are still great friends of mine, as good a friend to me at the age of 20 as they were at the age of 5.
Family to me now are those who will be there for you, will support you through anything and are always there to talk things throw no matter what time of the night or day. They hold you when you cry and come running when you call, they laugh with you, smile with you, fail and succeed with you. They are the people who love you no matter who you are or what you do, and they are the people who will take every step through life with you.
So I say this now, when you feel as though you have no family, think of the people who would do all those things for you and with you, and you have your family right there in front of you without even having to try.
Interesting thought isn't it? Yeah. I thought so too. So who are your family now? Think about it, look around you and see who is still standing there waiting for the moments when you need them. Are they who you thought you were? Remember, smile and the whole world smiles with you.
Bye all!
Kirsten :)
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Life's Little...And Not So Little...Challanges
Hey All,
This my first blog on this site, so I'm hoping you will all enjoy the things I have to say....
Tell me this, have you ever wondered, why do things always seem so much more difficult when you finally really that challenging stage of life we refer to as adulthood? You do? Me too.
My life was never easy, right from the start, and I never expected it to get any easier, but I look at it this way, it's not meant to be easy, but it can be....fun.
Now I can almost hear you asking yourself, fun? what on earth is this girl talking about? But believe me when I say its true. Life isn't always fun and I know that more than most people. What with my life including so many challenges. But it is life's challenges that do have the potential to make life...fun.
When I was only two years old, my parents were told that I would never walk and never talk, and yet here I am 19 years later, not only walking, but walking unaided a lot of the time, and not only talking, but talking more articulately and with much more of a vocabulary than is expected from a child of my generation. I have faced the physical disability Cerebral Palsy from the age of 18 months, as this is the age that the disability first presents itself in children who have it, and I have also faced a life dealing with Asperger's Sydrome, which is on the Austism Spectrum, although this was only discovered at the age of 15 years.
Now I am one month off my 21st birthday, I have an amazing boyfriend, wonderful family, and now I am also taking steps to commence a Bachelor of Education P-10. But I'm not beginning to think that my life is now going to get easy from here on in. Let me assure you, far from that. My life's difficulties have only begun to appear.
For a person with Aspergers Syndrome, beginning a romantic relationship and maintaining it is one of the most difficult things they will ever face in their lives. I once had a person tell me that the things that an Aspergers sufferer can do that condtradict their symptoms, such as maintaining eye contact with others and having the ability to empathise, are learned behaviours. They even told me about a married couple in which the wife suffers from the symptoms of Aspergers Sydrome, this wife was heard and witnessed to have said that she was married to her husband purely for the sexual element of their relationship and that she was incapable of feeling love for her husband. Now this admittedly put a bit of a dampener on my own relationship, as I begun to doubt my own reasons for being with my boyfriend.
I thought about this for a very long time, and in this time, we fought, we weren't as close and I found myself wanting more out of our relationship. Until I realised something, I have also had people tell me that not every Aspie (Aspergers Sufferer) has the same symptoms or the same thought processes. I wasn't like that woman, I was my own woman and I was in love with my man, and so, I went about trying to fix our problems created by the things that other people had said, and came to the resolve that we were going to have our relationship on our terms, without allowing others to make us doubt ourselves.
Since my boyfriend and I have come to this conclusion, I have learned a lot about my Asperger's and how to control the way it makes me act, think and feel. You may not believe that this is possible, but I am a strong believer of the impossible becoming the possible, and I hope that this allows other people to have this belief as well.
So how can life's little and not so little challenges make life fun? Finding ways to overcome these challenges and begin facing others is are simply in the mind, positive thought processes mean positive outcomes and a positive life, which is, in turn....fun. It is the negative thought processes that drag down the human race and make life miserable. So I issue the challenge...think positive...and, Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.
Peace guys. See you next time. :)
This my first blog on this site, so I'm hoping you will all enjoy the things I have to say....
Tell me this, have you ever wondered, why do things always seem so much more difficult when you finally really that challenging stage of life we refer to as adulthood? You do? Me too.
My life was never easy, right from the start, and I never expected it to get any easier, but I look at it this way, it's not meant to be easy, but it can be....fun.
Now I can almost hear you asking yourself, fun? what on earth is this girl talking about? But believe me when I say its true. Life isn't always fun and I know that more than most people. What with my life including so many challenges. But it is life's challenges that do have the potential to make life...fun.
When I was only two years old, my parents were told that I would never walk and never talk, and yet here I am 19 years later, not only walking, but walking unaided a lot of the time, and not only talking, but talking more articulately and with much more of a vocabulary than is expected from a child of my generation. I have faced the physical disability Cerebral Palsy from the age of 18 months, as this is the age that the disability first presents itself in children who have it, and I have also faced a life dealing with Asperger's Sydrome, which is on the Austism Spectrum, although this was only discovered at the age of 15 years.
Now I am one month off my 21st birthday, I have an amazing boyfriend, wonderful family, and now I am also taking steps to commence a Bachelor of Education P-10. But I'm not beginning to think that my life is now going to get easy from here on in. Let me assure you, far from that. My life's difficulties have only begun to appear.
For a person with Aspergers Syndrome, beginning a romantic relationship and maintaining it is one of the most difficult things they will ever face in their lives. I once had a person tell me that the things that an Aspergers sufferer can do that condtradict their symptoms, such as maintaining eye contact with others and having the ability to empathise, are learned behaviours. They even told me about a married couple in which the wife suffers from the symptoms of Aspergers Sydrome, this wife was heard and witnessed to have said that she was married to her husband purely for the sexual element of their relationship and that she was incapable of feeling love for her husband. Now this admittedly put a bit of a dampener on my own relationship, as I begun to doubt my own reasons for being with my boyfriend.
I thought about this for a very long time, and in this time, we fought, we weren't as close and I found myself wanting more out of our relationship. Until I realised something, I have also had people tell me that not every Aspie (Aspergers Sufferer) has the same symptoms or the same thought processes. I wasn't like that woman, I was my own woman and I was in love with my man, and so, I went about trying to fix our problems created by the things that other people had said, and came to the resolve that we were going to have our relationship on our terms, without allowing others to make us doubt ourselves.
Since my boyfriend and I have come to this conclusion, I have learned a lot about my Asperger's and how to control the way it makes me act, think and feel. You may not believe that this is possible, but I am a strong believer of the impossible becoming the possible, and I hope that this allows other people to have this belief as well.
So how can life's little and not so little challenges make life fun? Finding ways to overcome these challenges and begin facing others is are simply in the mind, positive thought processes mean positive outcomes and a positive life, which is, in turn....fun. It is the negative thought processes that drag down the human race and make life miserable. So I issue the challenge...think positive...and, Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.
Peace guys. See you next time. :)
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