Family Connections

Hey everyone!

When I left you last I issued you with a challenge, to think positive, and endorsed this message with one of my favourite quotes "Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game." So, tell me, how did you go with that? Not always so easy huh?? Yeah I know how you feel, I haven't ever and probably never will be good at thinking positively, but I have learnt and known the benefits of it.

So where does my attitude come from? How can I possibly think positively when there is absolutely nothing in my life that can prove the benefits of that to me? The answer is: My family. I know you're thinking, oh everyone says that, that their families are the reason they are who they are, but for me, it is the absolute truth.

Growing up as a ward of the state and a foster child, my family has come to mean something entirely different to me than the rather conventional view that your family are your biological relatives, and no one else can possibly fulfill that role. Even though, I may have contradicted the opinion I am about to present to you at rough times in my life, there is nothing that will ever manage to change the view of family that has almost become second nature to me.

There was always a lot of holes in my life that my biological mother and father could never quite manage to fill. From the age of 6 months onwards, I spent majority of the time away from my two young parents, and although I know I saw them both quite a lot, it didn't take long for me to form the bond of mother and child with my foster mum and in turn, lose that bond with my own mother. And sadly, unlike my biological father and I with our father-daughter bond, my mother and I never managed to regain that bond.

I have spent my whole life feeling as though I would never quite fit in anywhere and I shouldn't have to say that this caused a lot of bitterness and horrible feelings in my life. If I went to my mother's house, I never felt quite right, and the same with my father's house. I didn't even really feel right living with my foster parents, I was always completely different to the people I spent time around, and I started to feel as though flying solo in life was the best way for me to go.

But it always used to surprise me, and often still does, how willing complete strangers were, to be the people who filled those holes for me, I found myself confiding in people who spent time around me, such as my child care workers or my teachers and I believe I felt more at home, with people who hardly knew me, than I did with my own family. I remember the only place I ever felt like I was part of something was at school. Which is just slightly ironic, given that in my early years of school not many of my peers took the time to get to know me, but those who did are still great friends of mine, as good a friend to me at the age of 20 as they were at the age of 5.

Family to me now are those who will be there for you, will support you through anything and are always there to talk things throw no matter what time of the night or day. They hold you when you cry and come running when you call, they laugh with you, smile with you, fail and succeed with you. They are the people who love you no matter who you are or what you do, and they are the people who will take every step through life with you.

So I say this now, when you feel as though you have no family, think of the people who would do all those things for you and with you, and you have your family right there in front of you without even having to try.

Interesting thought isn't it? Yeah. I thought so too. So who are your family now? Think about it, look around you and see who is still standing there waiting for the moments when you need them. Are they who you thought you were? Remember, smile and the whole world smiles with you.

Bye all!

Kirsten  :)