Hey everyone!
When I left you last I issued you with a challenge, to think positive, and endorsed this message with one of my favourite quotes "Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game." So, tell me, how did you go with that? Not always so easy huh?? Yeah I know how you feel, I haven't ever and probably never will be good at thinking positively, but I have learnt and known the benefits of it.
So where does my attitude come from? How can I possibly think positively when there is absolutely nothing in my life that can prove the benefits of that to me? The answer is: My family. I know you're thinking, oh everyone says that, that their families are the reason they are who they are, but for me, it is the absolute truth.
Growing up as a ward of the state and a foster child, my family has come to mean something entirely different to me than the rather conventional view that your family are your biological relatives, and no one else can possibly fulfill that role. Even though, I may have contradicted the opinion I am about to present to you at rough times in my life, there is nothing that will ever manage to change the view of family that has almost become second nature to me.
There was always a lot of holes in my life that my biological mother and father could never quite manage to fill. From the age of 6 months onwards, I spent majority of the time away from my two young parents, and although I know I saw them both quite a lot, it didn't take long for me to form the bond of mother and child with my foster mum and in turn, lose that bond with my own mother. And sadly, unlike my biological father and I with our father-daughter bond, my mother and I never managed to regain that bond.
I have spent my whole life feeling as though I would never quite fit in anywhere and I shouldn't have to say that this caused a lot of bitterness and horrible feelings in my life. If I went to my mother's house, I never felt quite right, and the same with my father's house. I didn't even really feel right living with my foster parents, I was always completely different to the people I spent time around, and I started to feel as though flying solo in life was the best way for me to go.
But it always used to surprise me, and often still does, how willing complete strangers were, to be the people who filled those holes for me, I found myself confiding in people who spent time around me, such as my child care workers or my teachers and I believe I felt more at home, with people who hardly knew me, than I did with my own family. I remember the only place I ever felt like I was part of something was at school. Which is just slightly ironic, given that in my early years of school not many of my peers took the time to get to know me, but those who did are still great friends of mine, as good a friend to me at the age of 20 as they were at the age of 5.
Family to me now are those who will be there for you, will support you through anything and are always there to talk things throw no matter what time of the night or day. They hold you when you cry and come running when you call, they laugh with you, smile with you, fail and succeed with you. They are the people who love you no matter who you are or what you do, and they are the people who will take every step through life with you.
So I say this now, when you feel as though you have no family, think of the people who would do all those things for you and with you, and you have your family right there in front of you without even having to try.
Interesting thought isn't it? Yeah. I thought so too. So who are your family now? Think about it, look around you and see who is still standing there waiting for the moments when you need them. Are they who you thought you were? Remember, smile and the whole world smiles with you.
Bye all!
Kirsten :)
Monday, August 16, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Life's Little...And Not So Little...Challanges
Hey All,
This my first blog on this site, so I'm hoping you will all enjoy the things I have to say....
Tell me this, have you ever wondered, why do things always seem so much more difficult when you finally really that challenging stage of life we refer to as adulthood? You do? Me too.
My life was never easy, right from the start, and I never expected it to get any easier, but I look at it this way, it's not meant to be easy, but it can be....fun.
Now I can almost hear you asking yourself, fun? what on earth is this girl talking about? But believe me when I say its true. Life isn't always fun and I know that more than most people. What with my life including so many challenges. But it is life's challenges that do have the potential to make life...fun.
When I was only two years old, my parents were told that I would never walk and never talk, and yet here I am 19 years later, not only walking, but walking unaided a lot of the time, and not only talking, but talking more articulately and with much more of a vocabulary than is expected from a child of my generation. I have faced the physical disability Cerebral Palsy from the age of 18 months, as this is the age that the disability first presents itself in children who have it, and I have also faced a life dealing with Asperger's Sydrome, which is on the Austism Spectrum, although this was only discovered at the age of 15 years.
Now I am one month off my 21st birthday, I have an amazing boyfriend, wonderful family, and now I am also taking steps to commence a Bachelor of Education P-10. But I'm not beginning to think that my life is now going to get easy from here on in. Let me assure you, far from that. My life's difficulties have only begun to appear.
For a person with Aspergers Syndrome, beginning a romantic relationship and maintaining it is one of the most difficult things they will ever face in their lives. I once had a person tell me that the things that an Aspergers sufferer can do that condtradict their symptoms, such as maintaining eye contact with others and having the ability to empathise, are learned behaviours. They even told me about a married couple in which the wife suffers from the symptoms of Aspergers Sydrome, this wife was heard and witnessed to have said that she was married to her husband purely for the sexual element of their relationship and that she was incapable of feeling love for her husband. Now this admittedly put a bit of a dampener on my own relationship, as I begun to doubt my own reasons for being with my boyfriend.
I thought about this for a very long time, and in this time, we fought, we weren't as close and I found myself wanting more out of our relationship. Until I realised something, I have also had people tell me that not every Aspie (Aspergers Sufferer) has the same symptoms or the same thought processes. I wasn't like that woman, I was my own woman and I was in love with my man, and so, I went about trying to fix our problems created by the things that other people had said, and came to the resolve that we were going to have our relationship on our terms, without allowing others to make us doubt ourselves.
Since my boyfriend and I have come to this conclusion, I have learned a lot about my Asperger's and how to control the way it makes me act, think and feel. You may not believe that this is possible, but I am a strong believer of the impossible becoming the possible, and I hope that this allows other people to have this belief as well.
So how can life's little and not so little challenges make life fun? Finding ways to overcome these challenges and begin facing others is are simply in the mind, positive thought processes mean positive outcomes and a positive life, which is, in turn....fun. It is the negative thought processes that drag down the human race and make life miserable. So I issue the challenge...think positive...and, Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.
Peace guys. See you next time. :)
This my first blog on this site, so I'm hoping you will all enjoy the things I have to say....
Tell me this, have you ever wondered, why do things always seem so much more difficult when you finally really that challenging stage of life we refer to as adulthood? You do? Me too.
My life was never easy, right from the start, and I never expected it to get any easier, but I look at it this way, it's not meant to be easy, but it can be....fun.
Now I can almost hear you asking yourself, fun? what on earth is this girl talking about? But believe me when I say its true. Life isn't always fun and I know that more than most people. What with my life including so many challenges. But it is life's challenges that do have the potential to make life...fun.
When I was only two years old, my parents were told that I would never walk and never talk, and yet here I am 19 years later, not only walking, but walking unaided a lot of the time, and not only talking, but talking more articulately and with much more of a vocabulary than is expected from a child of my generation. I have faced the physical disability Cerebral Palsy from the age of 18 months, as this is the age that the disability first presents itself in children who have it, and I have also faced a life dealing with Asperger's Sydrome, which is on the Austism Spectrum, although this was only discovered at the age of 15 years.
Now I am one month off my 21st birthday, I have an amazing boyfriend, wonderful family, and now I am also taking steps to commence a Bachelor of Education P-10. But I'm not beginning to think that my life is now going to get easy from here on in. Let me assure you, far from that. My life's difficulties have only begun to appear.
For a person with Aspergers Syndrome, beginning a romantic relationship and maintaining it is one of the most difficult things they will ever face in their lives. I once had a person tell me that the things that an Aspergers sufferer can do that condtradict their symptoms, such as maintaining eye contact with others and having the ability to empathise, are learned behaviours. They even told me about a married couple in which the wife suffers from the symptoms of Aspergers Sydrome, this wife was heard and witnessed to have said that she was married to her husband purely for the sexual element of their relationship and that she was incapable of feeling love for her husband. Now this admittedly put a bit of a dampener on my own relationship, as I begun to doubt my own reasons for being with my boyfriend.
I thought about this for a very long time, and in this time, we fought, we weren't as close and I found myself wanting more out of our relationship. Until I realised something, I have also had people tell me that not every Aspie (Aspergers Sufferer) has the same symptoms or the same thought processes. I wasn't like that woman, I was my own woman and I was in love with my man, and so, I went about trying to fix our problems created by the things that other people had said, and came to the resolve that we were going to have our relationship on our terms, without allowing others to make us doubt ourselves.
Since my boyfriend and I have come to this conclusion, I have learned a lot about my Asperger's and how to control the way it makes me act, think and feel. You may not believe that this is possible, but I am a strong believer of the impossible becoming the possible, and I hope that this allows other people to have this belief as well.
So how can life's little and not so little challenges make life fun? Finding ways to overcome these challenges and begin facing others is are simply in the mind, positive thought processes mean positive outcomes and a positive life, which is, in turn....fun. It is the negative thought processes that drag down the human race and make life miserable. So I issue the challenge...think positive...and, Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.
Peace guys. See you next time. :)
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